Time to explain

For those of you that are curious about my blog name, I shall explain. (I feel like I'm confessing a crime I committed, haha.) What is "SunflowerLove27"?:

Sunflower love basically means a love like a sunflower. You look at a sunflower and what do you notice? That it's face looks up to the sun, standing tall, and big. That's why it's called a sunflower, right? (Don't worry, that was a rhetorical question.) I've heard that a person's unrequited love can be compared to a sunflower's love for the sun. And if you think about it, it all makes sense really. The sunflower grows because of the sun and tries to look like the sun with its yellow and orange, (sometimes red) petals. This flower is always looking up to the sky to look at the sun, it's love. Sounds like a little innocent fairy tale, doesn't it? But as everyone already knows, the flower exists on Earth and the sun exists out there in the universe, the center of it all. The sun is too popular for this flower and shares it's warmth with every creature, every object. A player, indeed. So the only thing the flower can do is wither in the end and shrink away it's existence. I could be the only one thinking and feeling that this comparison was deep to me. But I think it's also because I favor the sunflower. ^-^

When I first heard the comparison I really thought I could relate to this because I'm always finding myself swimming in and out of unrequited love. For example, I have a friend that I've been acquainted with since I was in 7th grade. He's a year older than I am. I liked him before he ever liked me. But by the time I found out he had developed feelings for me, I was already in a long distance relationship with someone else. I really hesitated as to what I should do but I gave up on that friend because I didn't want a guy that had another girl in his heart. I wanted someone with only me in his mind and heart. I always had bad timing with him anyway so I gave up on him. Because he's a good friend. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm an idiot when it comes to love but at the same time I know I'm doing a good thing by giving up. Even if it means getting hurt every now and then. This almighty Jess can make it okay!!! (Please do not pity me for self encouragement.)

27 is a number that we're all a little familiar with by now. My birthday! But don't think that I like this number a lot just because it's the number of my birthday. I found out that a lot of things have happened on this day or time that have been memorable to me. But I can't really list those things out because even THAT's way too personal for me to reveal on a blog. Most of those things were just really small things that hit me on a personal level and some were things that I had to endure through in order to get rid of the pain. Besides, this number isn't something I can exactly explain about. It is a number after all. ;)

About my last blog...

I talked about Strobe Edge and that the 36th chapter was the last chapter. Well, I'll be blunt and tell you the truth. I lied. (That was a little ironic.) The author added two bonus chapters at the end. It included a beautiful, heart throbbing, heart pumping, kiss scene~!! I am very content with the ending. ^-^

I'm also very glad that I was able to get my best friend to read this cute manga and was able to thoroughly enjoy its innocence. It's good to hear that it got her into manga again, while she got me into k-pop more than before. I wonder if there will ever come a time where the both of us will have a romantic love life like Ninako-chan...Puhaha just kidding. Although I really~~ wouldn't mind having a hunk like Ren-kun be my future boyfriend. ;]

Well then, time to officially start this blog!! It's strange how before I blog I have all these ideas on what to blog about, but when I sit down with the screen in front of my face - my mind goes blank! Am I the only one that experiences these symptoms? Maybe I should take notes in a journal. Just for my personal blogging. (Laughs inwardly.)

So first things first. I got four things to talk about so listen up. 1) My nails. 2) My LG Vortex. 3) Fast Five. 4) My father. Let us commence with this blog.

I used to have this bad habit of chewing off my nails and I still get the urge every now and then but I force myself to rid myself of such "uncivilized" traits. So I go out of my way and into the decent way to use a nailclipper. But because of my weird OCD traits, I have to perfect my nails and angle them and file them just right to my taste. My mother likes it when I have long nails, so being the good daughter I am, I grow them to a certain length. But you see, I'm not familiar with having long nails because I was always chewing them off. So now whenever I'm texting, or typing, or playing keyboard, or guitar, or writing, etc. my nails seem to always be in the way. It drives me towards insanity at times but as my hairstylist tells me: "Beauty is pain." Remember that, my gals.

Now my LG Vortex, my cellular device, is an odd creature. You'd think I would've gotten used to my own phone by now since I've had it for about 2-3 months. But I think that I rather despise the slick little creature. I charge it all night and yet the batteries hit rock bottom very easily. I'm probably not supposed to charge it all night, but old habits don't die easily when they deserve to now do they? Also, whenever I reboot my phone, it keeps changing one of my contacts to David when his name is Dave. As you already may know, my older brother's name is David. So whenever I need to text my brother for trivial matters I end up texting this Dave person and not my brother. I'm not sure if you know how frustrating that can be, but I'll just tell you that it is.

On April 29th, Fast Five came out, right? I went to go see it the following Saturday with a couple of acquaintances. I personally went to go see that movie just for Sung Kang aka Han. (He was also in Tokyo Drift.) I'll tell you that Han was just freaking amazingly gorgeous in every scene he was in. You have no idea how many times my gals and I squealed. (Shakes head in shame.) I recommend this movie to those that love cars, enjoy the thrill of watching car races, Vin D., Dwayne Johnson, or Fast and Furious itself. I'll just warn those that haven't seen the movie yet ahead of time that you have to stay after the credits to watch the cliff hanger. :)

Now I want you to envision you and your father, whoever the good man may be. And what I want to know is: Do you have a good relationship with your old man? Because boy I tell you, I do not. My father and I have acquired a ... complicated relationship over the years of living together. (Not that I've lived anywhere else.) My father is a man that cannot express love to it's full potential and is very stubborn. He stopped giving me affectionate hugs by the time I turned at least 8. I don't remember what his embrace feels like anymore. At times, I do have the urge to hug him and at times I just wanna smack him. It's very hard to describe these feelings because overall, he is a good man and I respect him. There are just times that I don't respect him as my father. I find it hard to open up to him or ask for protection from him because of all the bottled up feelings I have of him. He never gave me the chance to vent or tell my side of the story to anything so I do have ugly feelings every now and then towards him. I know for a fact that he is the only male that has made me cry the most. But he doesn't know this because I have hid it well from him. Since I usually maintain a good distance from him when I'm in a bad mood, nothing sour happens. I guess that the only positive side to this relationship is that we both try to go back to the way it was between us. Sometimes I even think that the problem lies within my heart because I may have built up a wall between us. Maybe I really am just a big daddy's girl on the inside. But whatever the problem may be, I do have high hopes for the future us. Fighting!